Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary | Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel (2024)

Now that you’re familiar with writing an Obituary, let’s take a look at some common mistakes you’ll want to avoid.

Avoid Making the Obituary About You

It’s easy to fall into the trap of writing the obituary directly from your perspective, or from the perspective of the bereaved. It’s important to remember that the obituary should be about the deceased, and showcase them at all times. For example, you don’t want to begin the obituary with a line like, “It is with great sorrow that we announce the passing…” You’ll want to start immediately with the name of the person who has passed.

Don’t Focus Just on Death

It’s easy to write an entire obituary that jumps straight from the date and place of birth to the date and place of death, and misses everything in between. An obituary is not just an announcement of someone’s death, it is also a celebration of their life. Be sure to include information about what made the deceased’s life so amazing.

Listing People Who Were Appreciated

If you want to include a word of thanks to people who helped make your loved one’s passing a little easier, try to mention people who helped during their life as well. This helps bring some of the focus away from death and captures a more complete appreciation of the life lived. Generally, thanking people can be tricky. Someone may be overlooked and feel slighted. It might be best to forego the thanks in the obituary, and instead send out individualized cards of appreciation.

Avoid Clichés

Some clichés that are often included in obituaries are, “After a long/courageous battle…” or “Only saw the best in people…” or “Will be missed…” Try to express your thoughts creatively to convey your message. This will help others understand how unique the life of your loved one was.

Abbreviations

The temptation to use abbreviations as much as possible can be great, especially if you’re on a tight budget, but we advise against it. Your goal is to create an obituary that is easily understood. Abbreviations may confuse people if they’re not familiar with them.

Don’t Over Describe the Funeral.

Giving the basic information for the funeral or services is one of the main purposes of the obituary, since it allows those who knew the deceased to say their farewells, but the funeral itself is not the point of the obituary. Give a date, time, place, and officiating person (if desired), but don’t go into too much more detail than that because it runs the risk of distracting from the life of the deceased themselves.

These pitfalls to watch out for, combined with the ten-step guide to writing an obituary, should ensure that you are able to create the perfect piece to honor the life of your loved one. Just remember, ultimately an obituary is a way to show your appreciation for a great life lived, and to let others know how they can say their farewells. Stick to these two guiding principles, and you can’t go wrong.

Obituary Template

Sample Obituary

10 Easy Steps for Writing an Obituary

Articles

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary | Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel (2024)

FAQs

What to avoid when writing an obituary? ›

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary
  • Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
  • Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
  • Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
  • Avoid Clichés. ...
  • Abbreviations. ...
  • Don't Over Describe the Funeral.

What information should you never include in an obituary? ›

What Not to Include in an Obituary. Obituaries should never be written in the first person as they're not a personal tribute. As stated above, avoid including any personal addresses or phone numbers. Also, the cause of death is not necessary, as careers and education are not necessary details to include as well.

What should I exclude from an obituary? ›

Obituaries should not be written in the first person. This means you should not use "I" language. Remember that an obituary is not a personal tribute, like a sympathy card or condolence letter. You should also exclude personal addresses and phone numbers.

What is the first paragraph of an obituary? ›

Opening Paragraph

The first paragraph of the obituary should include the deceased person's full name, including any nicknames they may have used, their age, date and place of death. Some people choose to include cause of death, but this is optional depending on how much information you would like to share.

Should you include the date of birth in an obituary? ›

Including the Basics

If your loved one was a married woman, you'll want to include her maiden name as well. Other essential details to include when writing either a death notice or an obituary are: Birthdate and death date.

What is a good sentence for obituary? ›

Obituary Example 1:

It is with profound sadness that I share the passing of my beloved father, [full name], who left us on [date of death] at the age of [age]. Surrounded by his loving family and friends in his final moments, he was a man of immense humor and wisdom, cherishing every moment spent with his loved ones.

What makes a great obituary? ›

An obituary tends to have three distinct parts: the beginning (name, age, date of death, cause of death [if possible to include], work, education); the middle (anecdotes that celebrate the person's life); and the end (so-and-so is survived by, which Chang calls “a very efficient way of saying who's grieving.”)

What do names in parentheses mean in obituaries? ›

If you like to be technical, names should be listed as follows: first name, spouse's first name in parenthesis, then surname (ex: Tom (Sarah) Johnson). If the spouse or partner's surname is different, include their surname in the parenthesis along with their first name (ex: Tom (Sarah Williams) Johnson).

What is the proper way to list family members in an obituary? ›

When you list the survivors, make sure that you list them in order of closest relation to the deceased: spouse, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, parents, and siblings. When you are listing a relative, make sure to include their first name, their spouse's first name in brackets and then their last name.

How should an obituary end? ›

The obituary should end by naming your loved one's surviving family members, then giving information about the funeral or memorial service, if the family is making those details public, as well as information about any memorial funds or charitable organizations that people should send donations to.

What is safe to put in an obituary? ›

The types of things that should be placed in an obituary include talking about the deceased person, what their life was about, who they were, the things they accomplished, the organizations they belonged to, the types of things they enjoyed, their family members, the schools they graduated from, and the type of work ...

Why would someone not write an obituary? ›

Some may feel that it is too personal or private to share with the public, while others may not have the financial means to pay for its publication. Additionally, some families may prefer to grieve privately and not draw attention to the death.

What is a simple obituary example? ›

[Full Name], aged [age of the deceased], passed away peacefully on [date of death], at [location of death]. He/she was born on [date of birth], in [birthplace], to [names of parents]. He/she was a proud resident of [city of residence] and was a 1975 graduate of Holy Cross High School.

What makes for a good obituary? ›

An obituary tends to have three distinct parts: the beginning (name, age, date of death, cause of death [if possible to include], work, education); the middle (anecdotes that celebrate the person's life); and the end (so-and-so is survived by, which Chang calls “a very efficient way of saying who's grieving.”)

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