It’s a basic human need to be able to express yourself and be understood by other people.
But for people with dementia, communication can become harder. They might:
- have trouble finding words, or say a related one instead of the one they mean
- speak fluently but not make sense
- have difficulty expressing their emotions
- find reading and writing harder
- ignore conversations or respond inappropriately
- get frustrated with themselves and the people around them.
If someone you care about who lives with dementia is struggling with their communication, encourage them to seek professional support early. This includes having their hearing and sight checked, and possibly getting support from a speech therapist.
These are some tips and strategies to help you talk and connect with someone with dementia.
Tips for talking
A caring and positive attitude when speaking to a person with dementia can make a big difference. They may not always understand what is being said, but we still show our feelings through our body language, tone and actions.
Here are some ways you can help support your friend or family member when you’re talking with them.
Showing respect and understanding
- Include the person in conversations. Speak directly to them, not just to the people around them.
- Don’t assume what they can or can’t understand.
- Use their name when you’re talking to them.
- Be interested and ask questions.
- Actively listen to what they’re saying. Put down your phone and try to ignore your mental to-do list.
- Provide validation by accepting what they say. For example, if they think their kids are coming home from school, respond to their statement without contradicting them.
Speaking
- Speak calmly and clearly.
- Use short sentences and share one idea at a time.
- Allow time for the person to understand and respond.
- Use names and relationships.
- Draw simple pictures if you’re explaining something.
- Ask simple, direct questions. Try yes/no questions, or offer just a few choices.
Using body language
- Make eye contact. Show you’re listening by nodding and leaning in.
- Express your feelings through gestures and facial expressions.
- Hold their hands to show warmth.
- Smile at them.
Creating the right environment
- Get rid of competing noises like TV and radio.
- Check that they’re paying attention before you start speaking.
- Stay still while you talk.
- Make sure all family members and carers communicate the same way.
Things to avoid
- Avoid arguing with them.
- Avoid asking questions that might alarm them or make them uncomfortable.
- Don't order the person to do something. Make suggestions instead.
- Don't ask for detailed memory responses, or insist on them trying to remember recent events.
